We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
