somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
