I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
