so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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