the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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