Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
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