If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
