we're chasing vodka with high fives
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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