man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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