I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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