She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
