I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
