that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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