come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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