i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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