why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
