It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
