I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
