I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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