She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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