True but thats because hes a fetus.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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