dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
