So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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