And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will be naked everywhere
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize