Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
