I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
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I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
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Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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