the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
there is glitter all over my balls
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