Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
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