Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
