'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
