I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
