i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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