am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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