your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's the barista slut.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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