great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
