She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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