I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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