Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
