The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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