You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
