Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
