before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
