not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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