Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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