Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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