11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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