do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
