So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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