He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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