I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There r osticjed everywhere
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
