it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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