why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
