Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
