I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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