she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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