he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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