She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
