I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
