i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
