I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
